Bingo, Booze, and Buzzwords: The Perfect Debate Night with Sh!tshow Wine

Bingo—But It’s a Bloodsport

This is no ordinary game of bingo, folks. We’re talking debate bingo, where everyone loses except for you. The rules are simple: mark your bingo card every time a candidate pulls one of the classics—because, let’s be honest, they will.

Here’s a taste of what you can expect:

• If someone interrupts or flat-out ignores the moderator—bingo square!
• When someone says “bipartisanship” like it’s a magical unicorn they just discovered? Bingo.
• If a candidate dodges the question with the grace of an Olympic gymnast, you know what to do.

We've got your cards ready to go, download and print them here to make sure you're fully prepared for the debate madness. Now, why not up the stakes? Get through one row of these buzzwords and there’s no way your wine glass will stay full for long. The real challenge? Not filling your card before the first commercial break.

Wine Cocktails That Outshine the Candidates

Debate night deserves cocktails with just as much flair (and nonsense) as the speeches you’ll be hearing. Enter the sh!tshow cocktail lineup—guaranteed to keep you smiling, no matter how far off the rails things get.

1. The "Filibusted" Sangria

For those moments when the debate drags on and you wonder if anyone actually remembers the original question. This sangria is your lifeline through the endless filibustering.

Ingredients:

• 
  1 bottle of sh!tshow Red (the only red that’s just as bold as the candidates’ promises)
• 2 oz brandy (because things will definitely escalate)
• 1 orange, sliced (offering you the citrusy optimism the candidates promised)
• 1 apple, chopped (so you can pretend this is a health drink)
• A splash of soda water (because at least something in this debate should have some sparkle)

Instructions:

1. Toss all the ingredients into a pitcher with as much precision as a candidate dodging a direct question.
2. Let it sit and marinate, giving you time to mentally prepare for the talking points you’re about to hear again.
3. Add a splash of soda water before serving, so it fizzes in ways the debate never will.

2. The "Spin Doctor" Spritzer

For when the candidates are spinning so hard you’re surprised they don’t get dizzy. This spritzer is the cool, calm antidote.

Ingredients:

• 
  1 bottle of chilled rosé (Sh!tshow Rosé if you’re really committing to the theme)
• 4 oz elderflower liqueur (because you need something fancy when the rhetoric gets stale)
• Fresh strawberries (for a pop of color in a night otherwise filled with shades of beige)
• Sparkling water (the only thing more bubbly than the promises being thrown around)

Instructions:

1. Mix the rosé and elderflower together in your glass, and pretend it’s as sophisticated as the debate should be.
2. Add strawberries, muddling them just enough to feel like you’re being productive, unlike the people on stage.
3. Top with sparkling water—because let’s be real, at least your drink should have some sparkle.

The Sh!tshow Debate Drinking Game: Rules for Political Survival

For those brave enough to stick around for the whole debate, we’ve got your back with a drinking game that’ll turn buzzwords and blunders into a full-on event. Here are the rules:

• Take a Sip every time:

  • A candidate says, “Let me be clear”—even though you know nothing about this is clear.
  • Someone mentions the “middle class” like they’ve got it on speed dial.
  • The moderator gives up on trying to regain control, and you can see it in their eyes.

• Take a Big Gulp when:

  • A candidate repeats themselves within the same sentence (just to really drive home the lack of substance).
  • The phrase “tax reform” gets thrown out like it's a magical fix for everything.
  • Someone drops a vague promise about “bipartisanship” while subtly shading their opponent.

• Finish Your Drink if:

  • A candidate actually answers the question. This will probably happen about as often as someone proposing something that isn’t tax-related.
  • A technical glitch leaves everyone standing around awkwardly for more than 30 seconds (fill your glass first—this one’s bound to happen).

Pro Tip: If you make it through the entire debate without hitting blackout (on your bingo card or otherwise), you’re stronger than most. But if you’re playing bingo and this drinking game, well… let’s just say you’ll need a second bottle of sh!tshow before it’s all over.

So there you have it—the ultimate Sh!tshow Wine Debate Night kit. Between your bingo card, some cleverly named cocktails, and a drinking game that’ll make even the vaguest campaign promises entertaining, you’re guaranteed to come out a winner. Pour yourself a generous glass, sit back, and let the political circus begin.

Because while the debate may be a mess, at least your night doesn’t have to be. Cheers to surviving this glorious sh!tshow!